Divorce is now a “no fault” divorce. In essence this means that either party can apply and will be granted a divorce and the process due to recent divorce changes introduced in April 2022. The idea of the new changes is to enable parties to apply for a divorce without blame against the other, so the process can begin without additional animosity and acrimony. The new simplified process with one or both parties applying for the divorce, confirming that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, as opposed to the old law that required a party to apportion blame and set out accusation, in order to get a divorce is no longer adversarial. The simplified divorce process allows the parties to deal with the more difficult aspects of divorce, relate to children and the finances (financial remedy claims), which can also be very costly to the parties financially, emotionally and psychologically. This is where most parties find it difficult act in an amicable, rational and proportionate way. The key issues in matrimonial/family matters to be resolved include, division of assets, spousal maintenance and children act matters. The child support (maintenance) is usually dealt with by the Child Maintenance Service, but this depends on the circumstances of the divorcing or separating parents.
Asset Division and Spousal Maintenance From my experience, the asset division can be one of the most contentious aspects of a divorce. This is due to the feelings, emotions, unfairness (or purported unfairness) held by one or both parties. The Court and legal representatives encourage parties to settle, so as to avoid legal costs and expenses escalating to substantial levels. However, most are to emotional or upset to take such advice. A decision, which they later regret, and wish that they could have thought more rationally, as their lives will continue with less money. In fact, they eventually realise that they could have retained such money for their own use and not unnecessarily spent on legal costs and expenses. As a result, the parties find it difficult to concentrate on the issues around the children and division of their assets. Many base their decisions on unresolved conflicts or issues within the marriage, a party’s conduct etc. The sad thing is that these emotions often ignore not only what is best for the parties, to reduce legal fees, but often what is good for the children.
It seems as though parties forget that they have children out of love and have built up their assets through hard work. If they set aside their differences and think logically setting aside their differences, upsets and the reason for the failure of their marriage that led to their separation, they will be better served on so many levels. Parties with children often forget that after the divorce, both parents will be part of their children’s future lives, birthdays, family events, marriage, grandchildren etc. Parties do not concentrate on how to address the issues, within the legal framework, they go off on a tangent, increase costs and only realise this when they have to pay their legal costs, wasted by their conduct, which has not only affected not only their feelings, financial position and wellbeing, but also their children.
Many parents bring their children into the divorce issues and the matters to be considered by the Court and forget that they are harming their own children. Due the animosity, hostility and ill-feeling towards the other spouse, they forget (or do not realise) the long-lasting harm they are causing their children. The children are often used as weapons against the other spouse and children have to ensure life-long suffering, psychological, emotional and other effects of the trauma of aspects of divorce. Often parents believe that the children do not need the other parent, but they often forget that a child needs the love of both parents.The parties do not focus (or even listen) to what the Court need to do to divide the assets. They are often too embroiled in their feelings, upset, anger etc. Parties need to understand what the Court requires in order to decide and to give evidence in a way that helps the Court. I think it is important to try to explain in simple terms what the Court does to come to a conclusion, when the parties are unable to agree. This often leads to either one or both parties being unhappy with the Court’s decision, which is the chance one takes when not agreeing and allowing the Court to decide how your assets (or children matters) should be finalised. The Court’s aim is to achieve a fair division, which does not necessarily mean a 50/50 split. Factors such as the length of the marriage, each party’s financial contribution or contribution to the family, and future needs are considered and the Court have a discretion how they interpret the parties’ evidence and whom they believe. The landmark case of White v White [2000] set a precedent in UK divorce law, emphasizing the importance of fairness and equality in asset division. This is particularly important where there is a disparity in income or where there is a more financially vulnerable spouse, and, in consideration of any children of the family. Spousal Maintenance is another key issue which requires consideration. It involves one spouse providing financial support to the other post-divorce. The amount and duration depend on various factors, including the length of the marriage, the standard of living during the marriage, and each party’s earning capacity. The cases of Miller v Miller [2006] and McFarlane v McFarlane [2006]are key references, illustrating how courts consider both parties’ needs and earning capacities.
Child Arrangements Decisions
These are guided by the principle of the child’s best interests. This includes considerations about with whom the child will live and how much time they will spend with each parent (child arrangements). The case of Re B (A Child) [2006] is a notable example, highlighting the court’s focus on the child’s welfare as the paramount consideration. Any child, with no severe disability, over 18, is generally considered an adult and independent.
The Importance of Legal Advice
Given the complexities of matters relating to divorce and financial separation, and that, whilst child matters are dealt with separately, how the divorce and financial separation is dealt with, can affect the well-being of any children both on a short-and long-term basis, seeking legal advice at an early stage is crucial. They can also suggest ways to reach an amicable settlement, wherever possible.
Conclusion
Divorce is a multifaceted process that intertwines the legal dissolution of a marriage and the financial separation with emotional challenges. Many focus on negotiating or deciding on a point of principle or upset or hostility, which they ultimately find to their detriment that this does not help them and in fact causes them to waste money and achieve little.Understanding these aspects is important for anyone starting to contemplate or navigate their way through a divorce. Whilst the legal process focuses on fair resolutions to practical issues like asset division, spousal support and child arrangements, the emotional journey requires patience, support, and self-care. It’s a journey that, although challenging, can lead to new beginnings and opportunities for growth and happiness. As the law surrounding divorce, financial separation and children is complex, being well-informed and seeking appropriate support can significantly ease the way to a smoother and more amicable journey, and ultimately towards resolution of the divorce, financial separation and child arrangements. It is important to keep in mind that it is not just about ending a marriage; it is about beginning a new chapter of life with clarity and hope for a more positive future. Whilst many divorcing couples assume that they will need the involvement of the Court, in order to reach agreement on a financial division of the assets. This is not the case. Matters can often be settled and resolved with the assistance of one of our solicitors, collaboratively trained solicitors or mediators, through discussion and negotiation, avoiding the delay, costs and stress of Court.
Practical Advice
The first rule in family or matrimonial (in fact for all court) matters - one must try not to be emotive and decide with your head, which I know is easier said than done. You must be well prepared to deal with any court case, by keeping your “story” simple and truthful, preparing what is required and doing your own due diligence. You need to be as objective, open-minded and look for solutions. The end of a marriage can be a profound and painful experience, affecting every aspect of one's life. I am trying to illuminate both the emotional and legal realities of divorce, providing insights and guidance to help navigate this challenging time. Divorce is not just a legal dissolution of a marriage, but a deeply emotional experience that often mirrors a grieving process. This journey is not linear and can be marked by moments of intense sadness and regret. At the start of the marriage, love and hope often dominate. However, over time, unresolved conflicts, unmet expectations, and changing needs can erode this foundation, leading to emotional turmoil. Feelings of rejection and betrayal can amplify the pain, transforming what was once a loving relationship into a battleground of hostility and bitterness.
For those who want more information about financial remedy claims, I have prepared an in-depth document that is a must read for anyone involved with financial remedy claims (I am also preparing one for children act matters). You can make any request or FREE ADVICE by email info@ajasolicitors.com (FAO MARKOS)